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"Rules of Thumb"

Rules of Thumb

fromstarters 

Editor's Comments: Patrick McKaywrote a series of articles telling of his deeds as Chief Starter for Oklahoma region. Here he goes off the track a bit and give some "Rules of Thumb." Not exactly racing related, but worthy of inclusion.

 

This month I am departing from my usual bantering and will give you some observations from a book I recently read. The book is titled “RULES OF THUMB.” I am sure that you will find many useful bits of information as you read along.

 

Time flies like an arrow...

 

Fruit flies like a banana...

 

Fresh artichokes squeak when rubbed together...

 

Never feed pigs viney plants, it gives them the itch...

 

If you see one mouse in your house you probably have a dozen...

 

Allow one week to hitchhike 1,000 K in in Africa...

 

There are approximately 250 mice to the gallon...

 

If you don't have much information before a race, bet on a horse that is swishing his tail straight up and down...

 

One acre will park 100 cars...

 

If your office is typical, 3/4 of the things in your files should have been filed in your wastebasket...

 

TalI candidates with short names get elected twice as often as short ones with long names...

 

Twenty percent of the people in volunteer groups do ninety percent of the work...

 

Plan on using one pack horse for every 150 pounds of supplies you carry...

 

Bathtub toys from Singapore generally last longer than those from Taiwan...

 

If your turds float, there's too much fat in your diet...

 

Seven quail eggs equal one chicken egg...

 

One ostrich egg will serve 24 people for brunch...

 

If your doctor treats your cold, it will go away in two weeks. If you leave it alone, it will go away in 14 days...

 

Eight quarts of dried beans will feed 100 people...

 

Don't eat frijoles and tortillas for supper the night before a long meeting...

 

And the last one is certainly worth remembering!

 

If you find yourself in a submarine, add the number of times you have descended to the number of times you have surfaced, and divide the total by two. If there is one left over, don't open the hatch!

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